pattern notes

hook: k

rnd 1:
ch 15
3sc in 2nd ch from hook
sc in next 7
dc till last ch
5dc in last ch
5dc in opp. side of ch
sc in next 6
3sc in last ch.

rnd 2:
ch 1
sc 17
3 sc in next ch
1 dc
2 dc in next
dc in next 2
sc 12
2 sc in next
sl st in next

rnd 3:
ch1
sc 18
2 sc in each ch 5x
sc 17
sl st.

rnd 4:
ch 1
sc 16
hdc
dc next 4
2 dc in next 6
sc till end.

rnd 5:
ch1
sc 22
hdc
dc2
dc next 7
2hdc
sc
sl st

.... crap not working . retry leter

Knit

So I'm Learning how to knit....

It's difficult. More so than I thought it would be. I like how the stitches look and I love some of things I have found patterns for. But I'm afraid it will take me months to finish one project. It took me a few hours to get what you see in the picture there. I'm going to keep practicing. I want to make some cool socks. So in a few weeks I'll probably find some nice sock yarn here on the internet and I'll pick up a set of circular needles from Wallmart. Gotta love Walmart.

I've finished quite a few crochet projects since I've started. A couple hats. A few pairs of fingerless gloves/handwarmers.

I'm working on a top right now for my mom. I think it will turn out pretty good I've still got quite a ways to go. I really hope that it will fit her well and that she will enjoy wearing it. I'm proud that I've actually come up with this design on my own. I really want to be able to come up with even more unique designs and make them to sell. I have a ton of ideas swimming in my head, it's just a matter of learning how to incorporate that into patterns to knit or crochet.

Flower slouch hat/tam

This hat is so flippin cool. I love it! It took me about two days to finish. If I do end up selling any work this is definitely one to be included. It's perfect for tucking in long hair when you don't want to fuss. Plus, this style hat can look good on just about anyone. I'm going to copy the pattern here so I can find it easily if I need it again and so anyone wishing to know can have it at their fingertips.


Skill Level: Intermediate
Size: Can Fit normal sized head 22” inches and can stretch
to fit a male head also!
Materials:
•Size 6.00 mm J-hook
•Sport weight yarn or yarn of your choice
•Tapestry needle
Notes: This is made like most hats, in rounds, no turning! And the
first 4 rnds of this pattern (the flower part) was bought to you by
CreativeYarn.


Ch4, slst to form a ring.
Rnd 1: Ch 3, 15 dc in ring, slst to top of ch 3. (16dc)
Rnd 2: Ch3, 2 dc in each dc around, slst to top of ch 3 (32dc)
Rnd 3: Ch4, * skip 2 dc’s, sc in next dc, ch4 repeat from * around ending with slst in first ch of ch4.(11
ch4 loops)
Rnd 4: Ch3, * 7 dc in next ch4 space, sc in next sc, repeat from * around ending with slst in top of
ch3.(11 petals, 11 sc in between each)
Rnd 5: Slst to top of next petal, ch1, sc in same space as last slst, *ch8, sc in top of next petal repeat
from * ending with slst first sc.(11sc, 11 ch8 loops)
Rnd 6: Ch3 *10 dc in each ch8 space repeat from * around ending with slst into the top of ch3.
Rnd 7 & 8: Ch3, dc in each dc around ending with slst into the top of ch3.
Rnd 9: Ch3, *dc in next 4 dc, dcdec over next 2 dc repeat from * until last 5 dc, dc in last 5 dc, slst into
the top of ch3.
Rnd 10: Ch3, *dc in next 3 dc, dcdec over next 2 dc repeat from * until last 2 dc, dc in last 2 dcslst into
the top of ch3.
Rnd 11 & 12: Ch3, dc in each dc around. Slst into the top of ch3.
Rnd 13: Ch3, dc in next dc, dcdec over next 2 dc, * dc in next 2 dc, dcdec over next 2 dc, repeat from *
until last 3 dc, dc in last 3 dc. Slst into the top of ch3.
Rnd 14: Ch3, dc in next dc, dcdec over next 2 dc, * dc in next 2 dc, dcdec over next 2 dc repeat from
* until last dc, 1 dc in last dc. Slst into the top of ch3.
Rnd 15: Ch3, dc in each dc around. Slst into the top of ch3.
Finish off, sew in loose ends.

Silly Lilly Hat W/ Pattern

This hat is so perfect and easy to do. It was the first crochet project that I did and absolutely loved when I was finished with it.

So let's see,
I used a small ball of Lily Sugar'n Cream from Meijer. It was about $1.50. And I still had enough left over to put into a hat made from scraps and I think I still have a couple yards left so...
I used a size I hook for Lillian's hat. For a bigger hat use a larger hook.

Ch 4, join to first ch to form ring.
Rnd 1: Ch 4 (counts as first dc plus ch 1), [dc, ch 1 8 times inside ring] Join to 3rd ch of begining ch 4. 9 dc’s and ch spaces when finished.
Rnd 2: Ch 4, dc in same stitch as joining, ch 1, [dc, ch 1 twice in next dc] repeat [] around. Join to 3rd ch of begining ch 4. ~ 18 dc’s and ch spaces
Rnd 3: Ch 4, [dc, ch 1 twice in next dc, (dc, ch 1) in next dc] repeat [] around. Join to 3rd ch of begining ch 4. ~ 27 dc’s and ch spaces
Rnd 4: Ch 4, (dc, ch 1) in next dc, (dc, ch 1) twice in next dc, [(dc, ch 1) in next dc, (dc, ch 1) in next dc, (dc, ch 1) twice in next dc] repeat [] around. Join to 3rd ch of begining ch 4. ~ 36 dc’s and ch spaces.
Rnd 5-11: Ch 4, [dc, ch 1 in next dc] repeat [] around. Join to 3rd ch of begining ch 4. ~ 36 dc’s and ch spaces.
Rnd 12: Ch 1, sc in same stitch as joining, skip next dc, 6 dc’s in next dc, skip next dc, (sc in next dc, skip next dc, 6 dc’s in next dc, skip next dc) around. Join to first sc. Fasten Off. Weave in Ends.


I don't have a pattern for the flower. I just kind of made it and stuck it on there. Any flower pattern will work.

ENJOY!

Note to self.

When yarn is cheap, like 50 cents for a small ball, STOCK UP! I only bought a few and I should have picked up more when I had the chance.
And so far I've finished two pairs of wrist warmers and a hat for my LilyBug. I'm going to put together a few hats and wristwarmer sets and hopefully sell them to make some extra money to buy more yarn.
I'm having way too much fun with all this crochet.

For Rob

crochet

I've been learning how to crochet for the last few weeks and I must say, it is definitely my new thing. I'm getting pretty good at it. Well, mastering the stitches anyway. I have yet to finish a complete project. But it is coming. SOON! I want to learn knitting too but I have to at least finish one crochet project before I am allowed to start something new. (Or I'll never finish anything)

So my journey started with my mom. I would sit and watch her while she worked and I learned how to chain and do a single crochet (which neither of us knew what it was called until I started to learn more). I simply used my google expertise to look for lessons on how to crochet and read patterns and looked up some of the millions of free patterns on the internet.

Along with being easy, it is actually a fairly cheap hobby. You can buy your first skein of yarn and a hook for 5 bucks and you're on your way!

Here are a few projects I will be working on in the near future.











( the patterns for these projects can be found at www.crochetme.com )

Jeff Dunham with Achmed the dead terrorist and Walter

Stupid Criminals of the month. November issue.

People do stupid things. Stupid people do stupider things. Stupid criminals are even higher up in the rankings for doing stupendously stupider things.

But when it comes to winning the "Moron of the Month" contest, the winners are more often than not going to be stupid drunk people doing UNTHINKABLY stupid things. November's winner is no exception, but faced the following fierce competition.

In fifth place this month, we have a 33-year-old man who was arrested after being cornered in a church by the congregation. Why did the congregation have him cornered? Because he stole a handful of communion wafers from the priest. Whether he was low on his food budget for the week or he really needed that much more forgiveness, we may never know.

On the bright side, with a $2,000 bond, he had the opportunity to brag to his jail mates about the net worth of his heist, which is somewhere in the vicinity of $1.10 to $1.70.

Only one spot away from receiving a medal, we have a gracious gentleman who was more concerned about giving than receiving - and I mean giving in the sense of urinating on the back of a police officer's head. After getting arrested for a DUI (only his fourth), he performed the act in the back of a police car on his way to jail.

The bronze medal goes to another thief. This time it was a New York City police officer who was caught pilfering from a convenience store. What would a police officer steal from a convenience store? Before you assume it was bunch of doughnuts, remember that it's wrong to stereotype. Besides, they weren't doughnuts; they were tastykakes.

After reviewing surveillance cameras, store clerks claimed he nabbed 21 of these treats in 17 of his visits, according to the Syracuse Post-Standard.

In second place, we have a group of six kids from Arkansas who fittingly take home the silver medal. Evidently, these kids stole a 62.5 lb. piece of metal and sold it to a metal recycling business for $30 that they later claimed was needed for gas money, according to www.aolnews.com. As it turned out, the chunk of metal was somewhat valuable. Known to the scientific community as "silver," or "62.5 freaking pounds of freaking silver," it was worth somewhere in the ballpark of $15,000.

The dealer who bought the "hunk of metal" from the kids knew this all along and immediately called the police. The kids were soon after arrested because the silver ingot was reported stolen a few months ago.

I'm guessing the kids will most likely sell their new silver medals to afford something they could really use, like a periodic table of the elements poster.

The grand prize goes to a 22-year-old man from Billings, Mont. who was stopped for drunk driving. The catch here is that he was originally the passenger in the car when it was first pulled over. After his buddy was arrested for failing a sobriety test, he decided it would make perfect sense to get behind the wheel and, I don't know, perhaps sneak away with the pickup truck. In a dramatic twist in his plan, he was caught.

It is still a mystery as to why the man tried to escape. Maybe he was just following the golden best friend rule: Friends bail you out of jail, best friends sit next to you in jail and say "Damn, I can't believe that cop saw me trying to sneak away with the truck!"

But maybe it was something completely different. Perhaps he just didn't want to have his "goods" confiscated. By "goods," of course, I mean his stash of tastykakes.

First blog

This is pretty much a spacer blog. I was trying all day yesterday to get flatpress and cutenews to work on my website... but they are stupid. So I'm just gonna stick with my old blogger that never got used. When I get around to it I will have this blog directly in my website instead of linking to blogger.com. I'm kinda tired of messing with it right now and I really want to work on putting some photos up on ebay. I may do a few myspace layouts this weekend, so you can look for those on the site next week.